Positive parenting is a hot topic because we study at school and University different subjects, but nobody teaches us how to make parenting positive. There is no such discipline parenting.
Often, we are trying parenting positively based on our own experiences, a vision of right and wrong as well as habits.
Every child is a Universe, and we need to be very careful and attentive to his character, the way he accepts the information, the time that we choose to talk with him.
To start understanding your kid you may read his horoscope, feng-shui horoscope, numerology chart, etc.
These tools will help you a lot, you will start seeing his behaviour and attitude, character, the way they had been created. Also, you will start understanding his perception of things and you will discover the world through his eyes.
I have three children – completely different by age, gender, and character.
To parenting positively I am always observing their nature, the way there are created. It is a must for all parents to be responsible for parenting positively because the lives and success of their kids in the future will depend on their childhood.
It takes us a big effort, for sure we need to grow and change but if you have a kid and you may make for him a great gift of parenting positively why not to embrace all these possibilities and give him the best chances you may.
A big bonus for a parent that positive parenting will educate and change you as well. Grow together with your kid, be happy with him, stay joyful, keep enjoying life.
Let me share with you some parenting techniques and positive discipline examples.
A kid shall be engaged in the process
Whatever he does – school-home tasks, something around the house, organization of an event – let him be engaged and feel responsibility. Otherwise, it will be your tasks and a hundred reminders to him until he accomplishes the given tasks.
Let me give you an example from my life – when my boy went to school it was tough for me to understand how I may engage him. After several different attempts with positive parenting techniques that didn’t work for him one day, I understood that the most important for him was to spend time and play with me. Nothing about school classes or home tasks.
All my previous very kind conversations that he should be more organized and attentive were just useless.
When I got this insight immediately I turned his chair to me, we stopped talking about the school and we started running around with him. We played a lot forgetting about all the tasks and time.
He was HAPPY! When we returned to the school subjects I explained to him that he needs to appreciate the time and we will have a lot of time to have fun if he will do his school tasks quickly. Also, I mentioned that it is HIS responsibility to think about this ahead, be organized enough to have this wonderful time together.
I was amazed the next day when he arrived from school and running to me said that he completed all tasks even at school. With big smiling eyes he was asking me: “When we will start to play?”
At that time he was 6. Now he is 10. He likes to study a lot without control. It became his good habit ever since even though he is a sports lover as well.
Make him love himself
The question is How should look like parenting 10-year-old boys? Here are some positive parenting tips for this age.
Recently we had a deep conversation that influenced both mine and his life. That is why at the beginning of this article I said that ideally you will change and grow together.
I asked one very simple but so important question: “Do you love yourself?” After a reflection which took him a while, he replied: “Not always.”
As a result of this conversation we decided and shake hands that since he doesn’t love himself when he is getting not enough points on subjects, etc I will never ask him about the test results. Now I may give a piece of advice (without any criticism) only if he wants to share with me the information or ask for support.
I have given a word that I will not be interested in his points or marks during school and University period.
What is more important how your kid feels himself or what is his external result? The kid who loves himself and feels happiness and joy in life will be more successful.
Let him have his voice loud
Parenting positively means to grow a child who will be open, friendly, positive, successful, kind to himself and the world. If you want to achieve great results here are parenting tips for 10-year-olds.
When you have a family event let him be a leading person on the table. When we gather we courage him to choose who will be toasting.
These kinds of roles will grow tomorrow a person who will be leading a Board meeting.
Because he will not be shy. He will be used not to shame his voice.
Let him talk, try to hear the way he expresses himself, support in his first steps.
Positive parenting lies on the fundamental principle that you as Parent Need to Own his trust.
There are many positive parenting skills but to gain the result in the basement you need to be his best friend ever.
He should not be frightened to share with you his thoughts, happiness, wishes, fears. I would love to talk with him in the evenings but he chose a time when we go to sleep.
My several attempts to explain that this is the time to sleep not to talk, have crushed. We talk about our “secret” soul topics only at night.
Let him chose his time to open. That very moment he wishes to trust and tell me his worries or success moments.
When I was completing writing this article about parenting positively 10-year-old boys he arrived at me and said: “Do you know why I am so comfortable now and my rates are higher and I am feeling myself a better?”
I reply that I do not know and he said that this happened because he doesn’t feel the pressure.
Do Not Make a Pressure on Your Kid
You will say now that this is impossible. Positive discipline tip is also to keep things in balance.
If a kid feels a big pressure, he will be tense. A potential of the person may be opened when he is in a condition of not fear but freedom.
I have noticed that on different occasions when I thought he is slow or does not the way I presume there always a reason behind it. If we wait for a result a little bit more patiently maybe we will see that our kids’ version is even better.
Positive parenting requires huge patience and big efforts to change first of all ourselves.
The most important and natural positive discipline examples are your behaviour and attitude and not only towards your kid.
Your perception of the world, your words about people and situations are the best positive parenting techniques. Because kids perceive what they see even more than what they hear from you. Imagine that you say that he needs to be kind to another kid and you are not kind even to your parents. You are giving him in this way two different directions.
Try to explain to your kid the same things as you do yourself.
Parenting 10-year-old boys requires setting boundaries
They may play video games day and night and that will bring them joy and happiness.
However, we need to control this process. You need to set timing rules. We made a rule to play 1.5 hours on weekdays and a maximum of 4 hours during the weekends.
Thus both parties – parents and kid – will understand how many hours a kid may dedicate to games. No tears or resentment.
To conclude my article about positive parenting tips I would advise you to dedicate quality time to your kids. I know that you are a busy person in our high-speed life. The most important not quantity but quality.
Plan in your daily schedule a time when you constantly will have a conversation with him, ask open questions, hear his voice and opinion, respect him and his age.
They are not a baby anymore but not yet teenagers. This is the time when they grow fast and make their opinion based on different situations they have made out of these habits.
Observe the world with your kid, you will learn a lot! Often they are wiser than us because they have their inner wisdom and intuition which is not under loads of knowledge and masks as ours.
They have a huge Love, do not help to waist it fast screaming on them. Have love and patience to discover this beautiful world helping them to keep a happy soul and joyful mood.
With big love to your kids,
Nazgul
A loving wife, mother of amazing three children. I have been managing companies in the wellness industry for 21 years. The person living a wonderful wellness lifestyle. I want to share my thoughts, journey to make you grow, to live your life to the fullest. I see you SHINING through your life smiling from inside.